What is meant to be, will be

What is meant to be will be

Dear Tracy, do you believe in fate and destiny?  I have a friend who talks about it all the time but I’m not really even sure I fully understand what it is all about.  What do you think?

Do I believe in it? TOTALLY.  100% yes!   But do let me explain specifically what I mean by that.  I believe that there are certain fated events, that despite our best efforts they are going to happen, one way or another.  Beyond that I believe that for the most part, we are free to make whatever decisions we want – I do believe in free will and I think for the most part we decide how we are going to live our lives.  But then there is the big picture.  While we make the day to day decisions on everything from what to wear, what to cook for dinner that night and so on, in the end, it all leads and fits into your destined path.  I think there are probably certain events “the fates” want for us and we can work toward our destined path and make things easy on us, or we can ignore the signs and do whatever the hell we want, fates me damned.  This would be the rough path.  In the end we are all going to reach what we were destined for.  The question really then is, how will we get there?  That is where free will comes in.

So for what it is worth, those are my views on fate and destiny.

My mother used to say that what was meant to be.  And by that she means that if a relationship was meant to be, it will be no matter what or how bad you try and mess it up.  Sure you can decide to make it easier on you by making different decisions or doing different things.


What is meant to be will be

2 thoughts on “What is meant to be will be”

  1. You were right to leave. You have to be true to yourself and have a little self respect. Clearly this guy didn’t have any real feelings for you or he would have treated you better. I think in time you’ll look back on this as a really good learning experience and hopefully the next guy you find will be 100 times better!

  3. I like to try to think that what ever is going on is exactly as it should be. You have a choice to choose to pay attention to what is happening and learn from it, or to ignore that and keep on making the same mistakes.

    In my case, I am learning that some men will say that they love you, but that doesn’t mean that it meets your standard of love, or even that it is love. They will say that but then not always have your best interest, meaning your well-being and happiness, at heart. They are too selfish and hurting themselves. That’s where selfishness comes from, an inner fear and hurting. We all hurt sometimes and have the potential to be selfish, hurtful, or even malicious. If people are this way as an adult, then they never learned how to self–reflect, and genuinely learn from that behavior.

    In my own self-reflection, I am learning that I pay too much attention to words and not actions. I knew my ex was not good enough for me, but I kept clinging to the few times he said he loved me, and then I tried to get him to change to a person who tried to be loving and considerate all of the time, instead of some of the time. No man is perfect but of us should settle to the point where we are having to teach a man basic consideration and how to care about your partner’s well being skills. Now why did I stay with him for so long? I think it basically comes down to fear. Fear that I wouldn’t be able to meet anyone better, fear of being alone. Actions based on fear; not a good idea. I broke up with him twice and he convinced me, with words, to come back to him twice. And soon after it was business as usual. I am sad (it has been 3 weeks) but feel so much lighter and freer.

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