First dates are a significant point in people’s lives as they represent a new beginning. Whether that means a new partner to pursue or a nightmare to avoid remains to be seen. That unknown element to first dates is a nerve-wracking experience but can prove to be a valuable lesson in exploration.
You may fantasize about a romantic dinner, cliché glances, and even a dance, but that’s not how first dates go. A first date is a time to be critical and analytical. You won’t get into the depths of their personality, but plenty of red flags will become clear if you keep an eye out for them.
Many relationship experts highlight the importance of identifying these red flags because ignoring them can prove to be dangerous. So all you need to do is be curious and search for these signs, and if you find any of them, it’s time to leave your first date behind.
5 Red Flags To Watch Out For On Your First Date
Here are the five red flags to look out for on your first date to ensure you keep suitable company:
- Getting Drunk
- Overly Touchy
- Toxic Attitude
- Conspiracy Theorist
- Expresses Their Love
1. Getting Drunk
When you meet somebody for the first time, you want to look and act your best. You may do your hair and some nice makeup, put on your prettiest dress, and wear your brightest smile. When your partner shows up, however, and he has red-rimmed eyes and can’t walk straight because of the alcohol in his system, that’s a major red flag. Being anxious to meet someone is natural, and that can cause people to act strangely, but that is no excuse to drink yourself into a stupor just to deal with the nerves. If he is willing to get drunk before meeting you for the first time, that speaks ill of his usual behavior and is a pretty clear indicator that he’s an alcoholic.
On the other hand, you want to stay on your best behavior when getting to know somebody, and if he doesn’t keep track of how many drinks he’s ordering and consuming, that showcases concerning behavior. If he cannot control his drinking on the first date, that speaks ill of how he acts the rest of the time and points towards the fact that he’s an alcoholic.
If your first date is like this, get away.
2. Overly Touchy
Touch can be a person’s love language, and while not an inherent red flag, on the first date, it can be quite concerning. Holding hands is fine on the first date, but hands on the thigh, the back, or otherwise trying to be too intimate is far too much for a veritable stranger. The first date is all about getting to know somebody and determining if they are a suitable partner to pursue, not trying to get into somebody’s pants. If your first date is overly touchy, odds are, they only want sex from you.
The best way to avoid these creeps is to keep as much distance as you can while you are together and, afterward, block him. This is a major red flag and definitely not a relationship to chase after. That is a partner who does not want you because you are caring, sweet, or funny.
3. Toxic Attitude
When people are bossy, it means they are entitled and controlling, which is not a trait you want in a potential partner. If he’s late without a reason, being bossy when ordering food, talks rudely to servers, or is only interested in talking about himself, he’s toxic. These behaviors indicate that he’s likely narcissistic and even misogynistic.
If he acts like this with complete strangers, he will be even worse with those he knows. You do not want to be caught under his toxic, controlling thumb. So, if you see any of these behaviors on your first date, do not pursue a long-term relationship.
4. Conspiracy Theorist
Discussing conspiracy theories can be an interesting conversation topic, but on the first date, it can be cause for concern. Talking about such topics heavily can make your partner seem like they aren’t interested in getting to know you as a person, let alone that he wants to pursue a serious relationship with you. People who want to talk seriously about Flat Earth, the end of the world, UFOs, etc., with a practical stranger, will often neglect the necessities of a healthy relationship.
If you find a man who explodes into a mess of conspiracy theories on your first date, that’s a massive red flag. That is not somebody who will be stable in a long-term relationship, and it is best to get away as soon as possible.
5. Expresses Their Love
If somebody expresses their love for you on the first date, run. You do not know somebody when you meet them, and you, therefore, cannot love them. These love bombers can be men who just want to impress you, or they can be trying to draw you in with a grandiose bluff so they can have you under their thumb. Expressing that they find you pleasant and attractive and want to pursue a relationship with you is fine– even when unreciprocated– but confessing their misguided love is too far. This is someone who is fake, and if you pursue a relationship with them, they will never be genuine.
First dates aren’t all bad, but keeping an eye out for red flags is how you keep yourself safe. Stay observant, stay safe, and have fun.