A first date should not be an interrogation

A first date should not be an interrogation

When you go on a first date you obviously want to get to know the other person but you need to be careful not to turn it into an interrogation. It’s a date, not a job interview. While it’s important to ask questions and appear interested, it’s also important not to go overboard. Make sure to talk about yourself after you have asked a few questions.

Things like the official boyfriend application are funny. But they really are just meant to be a joke. Not something you should be taken seriously, especially on a first date.


A first date conversation should be about give and take. If they tell you something personal about themselves, make sure you tell them something similar in return.

Not sure what to talk about? Ask about travel. Is there some cool place they’ve ever been to or would like to go?

How about you? Any secret travel desires? If money was no problem, where is the one place in the world you would want to visit?

People say to ask things like “what makes you unique” but that’s obvious you are just playing the 20 questions game. Instead, be more subtle and ask them about what they like to do in their free time. And when I say ask, I mean to ask and then LISTEN – yes really listen to what their answer is and then ask a follow-up question about something they told you.

Like if a guy says that he loves to go fishing in his free time, then ask him what his favorite fish is, or where he likes to go fishing. If a guy says he’s a huge foodie and loves to find great places to eat then ask him about the best place he’s been to or what the best thing he’s even eaten is.

See how it works? You ask a question to get to know a person but you show you listen by asking follow-up questions once they’ve answered you. That’s honestly how you get to know someone and how you make your first date seem less like an interrogation or a game of 20 questions.


First dates are often super awkward. Don’t make it worse by drilling them with stupid questions like, what’s your favorite color? Who cares what his favorite color is. What does that really tell you about him?

Also, remember to stay positive and light-hearted. You don’t want to get into really deep subjects – not on a first date.

If you find the guy isn’t really good at answering questions or is giving you short one-word responses, then it’s time for you to take charge of the conversation and tell him something about you, like your favorite places to eat or somewhere you’ve been thinking of visiting. If that doesn’t help improve the conversation then he just might not be the right guy for you.

But that’s okay too. That’s what first dates are about after all, spending time with a person and getting to know them to see if he’s right for you.


author avatar
Tracy Tegan
Tracy Tegan has spent the last seventeen years as a professional blogger about relationships, dating, and issues pertaining to gender equality at girl.pw. In her spare time, she writes romance novels that are available at Amazon.  You can check out Tracy Tegan's latest romance novel, Crescent Moon at Amazon.

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A first date should not be an interrogation

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