For years we’ve had the worst pickup lines on this site so when someone emailed me and said we should add the best breakup lines, I agreed! It was a perfect fit for this site. When I began to research into the subject I quickly realized that if people broke up with each other the same way they used cheesy pickup lines, the world would be a much happier place—full of giggling, constant sunshine, and far fewer tears. At least that’s the theory.
So without further ado, here are some of the best breakup lines I could find. If you have any good ones of your own, just add them below in the comments section!
They say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you,
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend getaway, and while I’m gone you can pack your stuff and GTFO?
Have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
It’s not you, it’s me.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.
I’m just not interested in you.
Do you mind if we drive by my ex’s place? I just want to see if anyone is there.
We’re just at different points in our lives.
Hey babe, I think its time we take our relationship to the previous level.
I don’t want to hold you back. You deserve better.
We’re too alike.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this back together.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Are you being followed? Because I’ve been seeing people behind your back… let’s break up.
Hey, sexy, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
We should make like your parents and split.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
You just don’t get me.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
We must be cast on a spiral fracture. Because we’re on a serious break.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order.
You look like my future ex-husband.
I think we need to become better strangers.
I’d better get a library card because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Hey baby, are you a Star Wars sequel? Cause I never want to see you again.
I’m not ready for the real thing.
I love you like a friend (sister/brother).
I need space.
I need to focus on my career right now.
I wished it could have worked out for us.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Hey babe, you like Scooby-Doo? Then let’s split up gang!
I see my future like how the Americans spell color. Without u.
Are you a clock? Because our time is up.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Hey gurl, are we like the Simpsons? Because it should have ended a long time ago.
Are you the dog? Because your stuff’s all over the lawn.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Are you α New Years’ resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the trash is dumped and so are you.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
We could cover more ground if we split up.
Hey baby, are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Hey baby, is your name Delta? Because I’ve spent the last forty-five minutes waiting for you to take off.
I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my a**.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship because they both don’t exist anymore.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.