Today we are going to talk about dating advice for a long distance relationship. While long-distance is often discouraged, distance can be a great opportunity to focus on a solid the foundation of characteristics beyond physical comfort.
A foundation that is focused on lasting qualities such as goals, emotional and mental
compatibility, and respect for each other are characteristics that can be improved over time regardless of distance.
Standing the test of time and distance requires regular implementation of 9 categories. These include independence, a social life, openness, space, honesty, consistency, mental strength, romance, and thoughtfulness.
So what’s the key to a successful long-distance relationship?
The truth to long-distance relationships working is not as clear-cut as one might hope. Regardless of the reason for the miles between you and your loved one, the desire for human connections remains.
When left unfilled attention can lead to getting the desire filled by other means, however superficial or short-lived.
However, when a cup is full it won’t be so desperate to be filled that any source is received.
Relationship work should not be done just to avoid a partner from having wandering eyes. But rather to build a strong foundation so when the opportunity arises, your significant other will already be satisfied, so there will be no need to stray for comfort close to them.
Consistent practice in the following 9 areas should be a great start when adjusting to long-distance dating (or engagement, marriage, etc. depending on your status).
Independence
When the hype of a new relationship flickers out and the “real” work starts, having a solid foundation of communication skills, but also the ability to be independent, not dependent on each other is essential.
Remember you were both individuals before the relationship started, so you need to spend time nurturing your individuality after your relationship status changed.
A social life
The idea of doing activities without your significant other is portrayed as negative far too often.
Being on a break, or needing me time is the “only” acceptable way according to society to do anything alone.
The other truth society provides is that only 2 approaches exist when it comes to social life. The first lie is you either spend every waking moment with each other, or secondly, anytime you spend apart is bad. Both are a bit extreme when you think about it.
In reality, you both need space! Any new parent knows 5 minutes of time to nurture yourself, even just to do the simple things in life like showering, brings a whole different mindset.
You will come backing feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, often creating more desire and closeness to the relationship. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, when done correctly.
Openness
Learning how to communicate openly will lead to deeper conversations. Likes or dislikes can be discussed, addressed, and compromise applied where needed because of the open line of communication you have created.
Problems from miscommunication are avoided (or reduced) all because a conscious effort to be transparent is being made. The ability to pinpoint and then relay information will take time and practice.
Don’t expect every chance you do get together, to be perfect because it will not always be. The whole point of doing life with someone is to go through the good, bad, and ugly with someone.
When you avoid the mixture of ups and downs your bond will not grow, and the time together will become boring. The high and lows are what makes life interesting. Reactions made and lines being drawn shows you are wanting to make the distance work.
Honesty
When you are hoping to have a solid relationship while maintaining a long distance with your loved one, the ability to be open is a must. Honesty, while similar to openness, is not quite the same, because honesty requires you to check in with yourself.
Being raw and vulnerable when talking. Honesty is being conscious of your insecurities, needs, and expectations. Which will lead to honest communication but will take some time to pinpoint.
Space
Space or a break is often seen in a negative light but in reality, is the best thing for a relationship!
After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder!
Emotions are easier to sort out when done in solitude when distractions are at a minimum.
Couples tend to throw taking a break around as a punishment, but really all the couple needs is to take the time to evaluate and sort emotions out. One great advantage of long distance is that
it offers that quiet time to evaluate and be open with what brings happiness, excitement, sadness, anger etc.
Moving on to the mushy stuff
A long-distance relationship cannot survive on bread and water alone, a sweet treat has to be part of the balance!
Romance is certainly the most idolized portion of making long distance work.
Causing pressure to spice things up, or act a certain way to keep your guy/girls attention.
On the flip side, trying too hard can lead to anxiety and a stiff demeanor, doing more harm than good. So cut yourself some slack and just take baby steps. There is no need to overwhelm either of you with too much of a good thing.
Romantic feelings are a result of a deep connection that has been nurtured over time.
Foundational characteristics like open communication, independence, social life balance, honesty, and space keep a long-distance relationship from flickering out.
When time is finally spent together the quality and fulfillment will be all the more intense after impending these tips, which in the end is one perk not to overlook!
In the end, the best advice to keeping a long-distance relationship is to be open and honest. As the saying goes, the key to any successful relationship is communication. Let the other person be a part of your life, without trying to force it. Share when you can, don’t freak out when you can’t.
