Do you know what it means to go dark in a relationship?

Do you know what it means to go dark in a relationship?

Dear Tracy, I was taking a guy for two years. We were living together and one day he moved out and hasn’t talked to me for days. I’m going out of my mind. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried texting him. Sending him DMs on social media. Nothing works. I really am losing it. Please help.

What does it mean to go dark?

Oh, girl, we have been there. You are not alone. Men love to say they hate girls who play games, but this is exactly how men do it, too.


The problem is, you are reacting to his moves. It’s time to stop reacting and start acting. You are giving him all the power in the relationship. And how you do that may sound easy enough, but it’s quite hard. But if you have the willpower, then all you have to do is go dark.

When you don’t give a man the attention he wants, he will always reach out to you. You are taking your power back in the relationship, allowing you to decide what you will do next.

When you go dark, they realize they want your attention, and they wonder why you suddenly aren’t giving it to them. But most importantly, you realize you can live without them. And that is probably the best lesson of all.

So, what does it mean to go dark?

  • It means cutting off all contact with him.
  • Do not call him.
  • Do not text him.
  • Do not send him emails.
  • Do not send him DMs via social media.
  • Removing him from your social media. Don’t just stop following him, but flat out block him out of sight out of mind.
  • Do not talk to him, his friends, his family, or his co-workers.

He left. He decided he didn’t want to speak to you, so you are simply giving him what he wants.

It won’t be easy, but you will regain your power if you are strong. You will see these petty games are ridiculous and that you can do better. You deserve better than some guy who treats you like that.


But for now, don’t focus on that. Instead, focus on going dark. Give the man what he wants, and cease all communication with him.

You focus on yourself instead. You put time into YOU.

Once you cut him out of your life, watch how fast he comes around.




Do you have a question for Tracy? Click here to ask Tracy!

Ask Tracy’s advice column is for entertainment purposes only. Tracy is not a love advice specialist or medical professional of any kind. The advice given here is intended to be taken with a grain of salt and is based on personal life experiences, not professional training. The reader is advised to use his or her common sense when it comes to adhering to this or any sort of romantic advice. If you are having serious relationship problems, you are advised to seek real help from a doctor, not someone you meet on the internet.

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Tracy Tegan
Tracy Tegan has spent the last seventeen years as a professional blogger about relationships, dating, and issues pertaining to gender equality at In her spare time, she writes romance novels that are available at Amazon.  You can check out Tracy Tegan's latest romance novel, Crescent Moon at Amazon.

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Do you know what it means to go dark in a relationship?

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