How NOT to Approach a Woman

How NOT to Approach a Woman

Learn how to improve your dating game with these examples of what NOT to do.

Dating can often feel like you’re just sending out your hopes and dreams out the window only to get your heart returned like an abused boomerang. How do you approach women without making a fool of yourself? Well, sometimes it is easier to remember what NOT to do when attempting to get a date. Heed this advice and you may just end up walking out of that bar with her.


Use a pickup line. Unless you deliver it jokingly, knowing they are terrible, absolutely avoid pick-up lines at all costs, or you’ll end up at best with a roll of the eyes, and at worst a smack in the face.

Comment on or blatantly stare at her body. Women are self-conscious and do not want guys ogling her goods, even though they wear low-cut shirts and short dresses to show off. Be above the rest and ignore those perky breasts. Exception: tell her genuinely that she is beautiful, not hot.

Go up to her not knowing what to say. Women hate awkward silences with guys they have just met. If there is a lag in the conversation after that obligatory “Hey, what’s up?” spiel, they will turn around and leave, and you will have lost your chance faster than saying, “nothing much, you?”

Be rude to the bartender. Women notice how men treat people, whether you realize it or not when you stiff the bartender that tip or bark your order. They will wonder how you will treat them.

Ask her to go to your house. If you are actually looking for a relationship, asking her to go to your house afterward is a huge red flag that screams, “I’m just looking for sex, and I don’t care with who.”

Ask her in front of her friends. Women are powerful in numbers. Get her alone to ask her for her number or out on a date, and you’ll take away the judging looks and pressure to blow off a guy during their girl’s night.


Get her number, but never call or text her. Texting has many benefits for people getting to know each other – plenty of time to think of the right things to say, ability to delete and rewrite, and easy to fit into busy schedules.  Use this opportunity to get to know her, not to ignore her.

Walk up to someone and say, “Hey cutie, want to go out?” That’s not how you get dates with women who want actual relationships. You should be talking to her casually and inevitably finding out what she likes to do. Base your first date idea on that.

With these examples of what not to do when approaching a woman, and how to get her to agree to a first date, you are well on your way to flinging your heart into the world again – it can be nerve-wracking! But if you are honest, cheerful, and keep an open mind, who knows what will happen?


author avatar
Tracy Tegan
Tracy Tegan has spent the last seventeen years as a professional blogger about relationships, dating, and issues pertaining to gender equality at In her spare time, she writes romance novels that are available at Amazon.  You can check out Tracy Tegan's latest romance novel, Crescent Moon at Amazon.

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How NOT to Approach a Woman

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