Question Asked:
Dear Brent, what in the world scares men about commitment? Is it really an issue of monogamy or is it something else? Be honest. I really want to know. I just don’t get it.
Fear of commitment isn’t really about monogamy. Most times it’s because we just aren’t ready to give up our independence or we are worried about picking the wrong person.
If a man is sure you are the one for him, even the most die-hard commitment-phobe will take the plunge.
If he knows, he just knows. If he doesn’t, then he’s probably not going to change his mind over time.
This is the brief answer to the question of why men have a fear of commitment. Here we will try to break out the answers into some facts about why that happens.
5 Reasons Why Men Have A Fear Of Commitment
This is not about some kind of physiological disorder that makes men avoid committing to a girl, it’s more about a choice and personal preferences. When we look into the matter we find plenty of reasons why this happens. Sometimes because of past experiences, sometimes because of his personality, and yes times because of some bad reasons.
Here we have five reasons why Men Have A Fear Of Commitment:
- He Is Not Sure About The Relationship
- He Is Not Mature Enough
- He Is Afraid Because Of His Past
- He Does Not Want To Lose His Freedom
- He Is In Relationship For Fun
1. He Is Not Sure About The Relationship
If I am not sure about the girl I just started dating, how can I contact her? This is one of the major reasons why men avoid commitment. A relationship requires love and trust that grows over time and if someone is expecting immediate trust this can make things complicated.
Without my heart feeling the heat and compassion of the relationship I cannot commit to a girl for the rest of my life, but it does not mean I fear commitment, it means I need some time before I feel the need to commit. Yes, this is a fact that some men do use that grace period to use girls for their lust and then just despair. This is wrong and has to be condemned but this is not always the case.
2. He Is Not Mature Enough
Maturity is the second most important reason that makes men fear commitment. We hardly see 18 years old boys being in a relationship who do not know what to do with their lives, you certainly expect them to commit to their relationship.
They are just confused teenagers that are exploring their lives and getting to know things. Because of their educational, professional, and financial constraints, they simply cannot commit to a relationship. Moreover, we have seen mature adults acting immature in their relationships and avoiding commitment because of their fear and lack of confidence and decision-making skills. These types of people cannot help themselves in a relationship.
3. He Is Afraid Because Of His Past
Past relationships badly and they can haunt you for years. If your boy recently gets ditched by a girl it takes time before he gets the trust back to commit to someone. This is human psychology where once you experience something bad you avoid doing it again.
If this is your case then you have to understand the fact that it will take some time before he is finally back with his charisma to commit to another girl after being ditched recently.
4. He Does Not Want To Lose His Freedom
Another reason why men fear commitment is because they are afraid of losing their freedom. Once you are in a relationship with your boy you have your goals set to have a house, have kids, get a car, get a pet, or move to some other place. Some men are afraid of this because they think it will make them lose their freedom.
When I talk about freedom from my experience it means freedom to be with other girls, freedom to travel, set up your own goals, and make decisions on your own. Since relationship commitment wants loyalty and commitment for the rest of life it takes courage to do it and some men lack it and that is the reason they fear it.
5. He Is In Relationship For Fun
If you are in love with your man and he is making accusations to commit you for your love then there is a lot of chance that he is just in a relationship with you for fun. He wants to use you for his sexual desires and that’s it, he is not true with his love for you.
This is a common case when it comes to fear of commitment in a relationship. These types of creeps avoid talking about relationship goals and planning ahead; they just want physical intimacy to satisfy their lust.
Love, Commitment, And Loyalty Is The Key To Healthy relationships
If you are seeking a healthy relationship with a man who loves you. You have to be put in love, commitment, love, and loyalty to make it happen. And these ingredients are the things that your man must have to make the relationship work.
Men who fear commitment for no good reason are not the ones that you should be so make your call.
