Men’s Rules for Women

Men’s Rules for Women

Now before you read this keep in mind, it’s a joke! Girls don’t flip out. Remember we too have our own version of the rules for men! ^^

  1. Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
  2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . . . again!
  3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
  4. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
  5. Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.
  6. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
  7. We don’t remember dates . . . . Period!!
  8. Most guys own three pairs of shoes – tops. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
  9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  11. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
  12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
  13. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
  14. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We’ve been tricked before!!
  15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
  16. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
  17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
  18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  19. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
  20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
  21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
  22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
  23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
  24. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  25. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
  26. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
  27. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Unless it’s Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn’t really matter what they’re saying anyway.
  28. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it’s like camping.


This was submitted to us by JoshABY.

author avatar
Tracy Tegan
Tracy Tegan has spent the last seventeen years as a professional blogger about relationships, dating, and issues pertaining to gender equality at In her spare time, she writes romance novels that are available at Amazon.  You can check out Tracy Tegan's latest romance novel, Crescent Moon at Amazon.

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Men’s Rules for Women

13 Responses

  3. Sorry Ladies,There are some (Alot) of Rude ones out there,We are the Caveman,But some of us are Sincerely trying to break ourselves of that

  5. hahah this is completly true I LOVE IT!! i also like how the first one explains how they dont complain that the toliet seat is down….well they also wont fall in if it is 🙂 hahahah wonderufull!

  6. Its funny how in our rules we just simply insult they’re inteligence but in theres they insult everything about us? wtf but I guess thats how it works and that why we are all here at

  7. Wow, I guess the last comment by GodIsAMan says it all. It might be men like that that cause women to get on these kind of sites. Besides that, I think it’s interesting that our rules are really what’s natural to women physically, while the men’s rules are just plain bad manners.

  8. 1. Women are insane. If you want to drive a car, fly in a plane, work a computer, or wash your clothes minus rocks and a runnign stream – 2. If you disagree with rule 1, see rule 1. 3, If you dislike rules number 1 and 2, see rule 4, war. 4. Disregard the above at your own peril.

  9. Funny how men come with more rules 26 to our 18. Meaning, we’re simple, Men are the ones who make it complicated. LOL Too funny, but I love this post. So true it’s sick.

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