Someone emailed me this story. I don’t know if it’s true, but it’s funny.
After 37 years of marriage, Jake dumped his wife for his busty young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded to live in Jake and Edith’s million-dollar home. So Jake fought for the house in the divorce, and since his lawyers were better, he won. She was heartbroken, but what could Edith do?
She packed her personal belongings and the few things she had gotten in the divorce, and the movers came to pick them up. Afterward, she sat, for the last time, at the beautiful dining room table where she had shared so many meals with her husband, the man she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with. She decided to have one last meal there, even if it was alone. So she lit the candles, turned on the music, and feasted on shrimp, caviar, and a bottle of his best wine.
When she finished, she went into every room and stuffed the half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of every curtain rod. At first, she was just going to do this in the master bedroom, but eventually, the wine got the best of her, and she went about putting it in every single room of the home. After she finished the job, she cleaned up the kitchen and went to her new home, never telling a single soul what she had done.
Jake and his new girlfriend returned to their new home after a two-week trip to the Bahamas.
During that time, the half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar stuffed into the curtain rods began to smell. Jake and his girlfriend tried everything they could to clean the place out. When that didn’t work, they had the vents checked for dead rodents, and the carpets cleaned, and still nothing. Next, they hired an exterminator to set off gas canisters, hoping to kill off any unseen, smelly rodents hiding in their home. When they didn’t work, they tried replacing all the carpets with beautiful new hardwood floors throughout the entire house. It was expensive, but they didn’t know what in the world could be causing the horrible odor. Nothing worked. Eventually, the small had gotten so bad that the maid quit, and repairmen refused to even work in the house.
They had no choice but to try and sell the house and move, but they had no luck even getting realtors to work with them because the house smelled so bad. Eventually, he took out a large loan to buy a new place and was at his wit’s end regarding what to do about the smelly house.
He was overextended financially, so he called his ex-wife to make a deal, hoping she hadn’t heard the news about the house rotting. He offered her the house in exchange for reducing her alimony payments by 25%. Jake thinking he got the upper hand, couldn’t wait to brag to his new girlfriend about the deal he had made.
When the lawyer delivered the papers to Edith, she signed without hesitation. All the while, Jake and his new girlfriend were so confident they had just stuck it to his ex-wife yet again.
Soon Jake and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take their new home, including the curtain rods.