I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. Last year we were still too new to worry about spending the holidays with his family or mine, we each just went to our own family’s house for Thanksgiving. But now we’ve gotten far more serious and I’m not sure how to handle Thanksgiving. Do we go to his families house or mine?
For Christmas, we have it made. His family is big on Christmas Eve and mine is all about Christmas day. But Thanksgiving is an issue. Even though both of our families live in the same city, they both have dinner at noon so we can’t be in both places at the same time. Help!
Holidays are supposed to be a happy time that you spend with families, but far too often, it’s just a big stressful mess. My first suggestion is to speak to your family and his and see if they will consider moving the time just a bit. Maybe one family will consider having Thanksgiving in the evening instead of noon so you can enjoy time with each family.
If that isn’t an option, you will have to decide between skipping one family altogether or spending time with your respective families without each other. If you decide that you want to be together for the holidays, remember to be fair when selecting which family to spend Thanksgiving with and let the other family know that next year you will spend it with them.
The only way to be genuinely fair as to who gets to see you this year if you do have to pick one family over the other is to draw a name out of a hat. This way, the selection process is totally random, and there won’t be any feelings of resentment from one family over the other because the “winning” family was left entirely up to fate.
And again, if one family is really THAT upset over not seeing you, they do still always have the option of changing the time of their dinner from noon to later in the day.
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Ask Tracy’s advice column is for entertainment purposes only. Tracy is not a love advice specialist or medical professional of any kind. The advice given here is intended to be taken with a grain of salt and is based on personal life experiences, not professional training. The reader is advised to use his or her common sense when it comes to adhering to this or any sort of romantic advice. If you are having serious relationship problems, you are advised to seek real help from a doctor, not someone you meet on the internet.
