The battle of the sexes is as old as time itself. We all know that men and women are not remotely the same, but here are the real differences spelled out for you.
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but is on sale.
- A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, a razor, shampoo, a bar of soap, and a towel.
- The average number of items in a woman’s bathroom is 337. The typical man would not be able to identify more than 20 of those items.
- A man sees colors in basic terms like red, purple, pink, and yellow.
- A woman sees colors in terms of shades like grape, orchid, lavender, carnation, strawberry, bubblegum, magenta, and salmon.
- If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out to lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
- If Mike, Dave, and John go out to lunch they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, D*head, and S*** for Brains.
- When the bill arrives, Mike Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though the final bill is only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none of them will actually admit they want change back.
- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
- Men typically can forget but can’t always forgive.
- Women typically can forgive, but rest assured, they will never forget.
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he never does.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she always does.
- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, to read a book and get the mail.
- A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
- A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist and doctor appointments, their romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, their hopes, and their dreams.
- A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.