A relationship checklist is a list of rules and precautions you must follow to have a happy and long lasting relationship. It contains precautions, restrictions, a to-do list, and things you must focus on to make your relationship better than ever.
I was watching a movie the other day and the female lead character was going on about her checklist of things a man must have to be in a serious relationship with her. She wanted a guy who was tall, kissed good, blah de blah blah blah.
I can’t tell you what a huge mistake those stupid checklists are. What you need is not a list of things a man must-have. You need to look at relationships in a totally different way. What you really need to do is come up with a list of absolute deal-breakers. What I mean is, don’t look for things he must have but instead look for things he must not have.
If you really want that absolutely perfect relationship, well you need to wake up because it is just not out there but when you do come back down to reality land you can start thinking of the things that you just totally, 100% can’t deal with. A “deal-breaker” is a relationship boundary – one that just flat out can’t be crossed.
Other than that it is not him always being the focus of changes and commitments, you have to be hard on yourself to make better out of relationships.
The Relationship Checklist
Here are some examples of deal breakers on my own personal list.
- Must Want Kids
- Must Not Get Drugs
- Must Not My Pets
- Must Be Faithful
- No Bad Manners
- No Excessive Debts
- No Secrets
1. Must Want Kids
Sounds obvious but believe it or not, there are a lot of guys out there who just flat out don’t want kids, no matter what. So to me, this is a deal breaker and that’s why it is on my list because one day I would like to have kids.
It is good to get things clear from the first day because wasting time in a relationship with no expectations for my desire is just a waste. So if someone wants to have a relationship he must be clear that one day I want kids.
If you are that type of person that wants kids then you have to tell him straight when you are at that point. If he agrees to go, then it’s your call to make the right decision.
2. Must Not Do Drugs
My ex-husband was big into smoking pot and from time to time he would do other things as well apparently. I don’t do drugs, I never did. It really just isn’t my thing. I don’t think I mind what other people do in their spare time and in their lives but I just don’t want it in my life and in my house so being with him helped me to realize this subject really is a deal breaker for me. I just don’t want a guy who does drugs of any kind.
Drugs are definitely a bad influence at whatever level and when you are planning to spend life with someone it must not be the factor between you. And in the case when you want to have kids one day it is definitely a no.
3. Must Not Mind My Pets
I am not some kind of crazy cat lady or anything like that but I wouldn’t give up my pets for a man and sometimes a man could maybe not like pets or be allergic or whatever. Anyway, I wouldn’t ever dream of giving up my pets (two cats and two small dogs) for a man so whoever I am with must love pets or that is a deal breaker to me.
This might not be your case so you have to be cautious about your hobbies. If you are a gardener and love to take care of your small garden on your balcony you have to make sure that the person you are living with must accept it as your thing. If he does not like it or wants you to get rid of it this is certainly a deal breaker for you.
4. Must Be Faithful
Although this one should go without saying, I don’t want to be with a man known for bed-hopping. I believe that once a cheater always a cheater so to me this is a deal breaker. If a man has cheated in the past I don’t want to risk him doing it again. Screw that! There are far too many men out there to waste my time on a cheater.
This is something you must never compromise because without faith there is nothing in your relationship. Without faith and affection, you are just wasting time with a creep who can hang up on you anytime because it is his thing.
5. Bad Manners
Some people may find it odd that you would absolutely under no uncertain terms be in a relationship with a guy who has bad manners but that’s my thing. Not every girl’s relationship checklist will be the same and to me, having bad manners is really just something I don’t want to put up with, especially when it comes to being in public.
You may have a different definition of bad manners than mine but one thing is for sure no one tolerates it anywhere in their relationship. Especially when we are talking about social life and getting in public with bad manners like harsh words, loud voices, eating like a creep, stalking girls, and talking nonsense are unacceptable.
6. Excessive Debt
Some people will tell you that money shouldn’t have anything to do with a relationship but to me, the way you manage your money speaks volumes about how you manage your life overall. If you earn 1000 bucks in a day and the next day you are broke then you have no manners to live a life.
Living with a person who is in excessive debt is like living with a ticking bomb, anyone can stop him in the middle of a road to ask him for their money. For me it’s a deal breaker, and you have to be protective of your privacy and your finances before you get into a relationship with a guy in debt.
7. No Secrets
For me, faith and loyalty are the souls of a relationship. Without them, it’s nothing but a waste. In a relationship, secrets are like poison that slowly hurts the soul of a relationship and one day ends it. So for me, it is a deal breaker because I want to know everything about my partner and so I want to express myself with no secrets.
If you want your partner to have no secrets from you, share everything on your part so that he can be comfortable sharing his part.
Create Your Own Checklist For Your Own Good
This checklist is something I have created from my experiences and something I follow to make my relationship better. You can have your own checklist with your experience and your priorities to make sure you avoid mistakes that you have done in the past and make your relationship better.
