I was matching a movie the other day and the female lead character was going on about her check list of things a man must have to be in a serious relationship with her. She wanted a guy who was tall, kisses good, blah de blah blah blah. I can’t tell you what a huge mistake those stupid check lists are. What you need is not a list of things a man must have. You need to look at relationships a totally different way. What you really need to do is come up with a list of absolute deal breakers. What I mean is, don’t look for things he must have but instead look for things he must not have.
If you really want that absolutely perfect relationship, well you need to wake up because it is just not out there but when you do come back down to reality land you can start thinking of the things that you just totally, 100% can’t deal with. A “deal breaker” is a relationship boundary – one that just flat out can’t be crossed.
Here are some examples of deal breakers on my own personal list ….
Must want kids
Sounds like an obvious but believe it or not, there are a lot of guys out there who just flat out don’t want kids, no matter what. So to me this is a deal breaker and that’s why it is on my list because one day I would like to have kids.
Must not do drugs
My ex-husband was big into smoking pot and from time to time he would do other things as well apparently. I don’t do drugs, I never did. It really just isn’t my thing. I don’t think I mind what other people do in their spare time and in their lives but I just don’t want it in my life and in my house so being with him helped me to realize this subject really is a deal breaker for me. I just don’t want a guy who does drugs of any kind.
Must not mind my pets
I am not some kind of crazy cat lady or anything like that but I wouldn’t give up my pets for a man and sometimes a man could maybe not like pets or be allergic or whatever. Anyway I wouldn’t ever dream of giving up my pets (two cats and two small dogs) for a man so whoever I am with must love pets or that is a deal breaker to me.
Must be faithful
Although this one should go without saying, I don’t want to be with a man known for bed hopping. I believe that once a cheater always a cheater so to me this is a deal breaker. If a man has cheated in the past I don’t want to risk he’ll do it again with me. Screw that! There are far to many men out there to waste my time on a cheater.
Some people may find it odd that you would absolutely under no uncertain terms be in a relationship with a guy who has bad manners but that’s my thing. Not every girls relationship check list will be the same and to me, having bad manners is really just something I don’t want to put up with, especially when it comes to being in public.
Some people will tell you that money shouldn’t have anything to do with a relationship but to me the way you manage your money speaks volumes about how you manage your life overall.