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The Secret to a Successful Breakup

The Secret to a Successful Breakup

I just found out my soon to be ex-husband is dating again. Well he’s not just dating again he’s living with someone and as he said “it’s pretty serious”. When I asked him if he planned on marrying her he said he didn’t know, as if he had already been thinking about it. I was a little taken aback by this because we aren’t even divorced yet.  Overall I wasn’t too upset about this news of his new relationship until I started doing the math. I realized that when he met this girl online, he was still with me and even worse he now lives with her online ONE BLOCK away from me.  Who does that?

The breakup wasn’t easy.  Then again what breakup really ever is?  They say you should mourn the loss of a relationship 1 month for every year you were together so why then 7 months later am I still traumatized by that relationship?  I’ve put in my time.  Why isn’t the grief subsiding?


What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get on with my life, like everyone else?

He’s already moved on.  Hell, he’s already in love with someone new and living with her … planning his future with her.

Then one day he posts a picture of himself and that WH*** on his Facebook page.  He was smiling, holding her from behind.  I noticed in her hand was an iPhone.  He had cut my iPhone off but he got her one.  He left me with no car but gave her our car we had bought together and bought himself a new one.  I went from being sad to being really angry …. more like downright pissed off.

I removed him from my Facebook page.  I didn’t want to see his updates anymore or what his new plaything looked like.  I stopped following him on Twitter.  I removed him from my phone contacts list and speed dial.  I removed him from my instant messenger contact list.  I systematically removed him from every aspect of my life.

And you know what?  It got easier.  Almost if overnight I started to get over him.  I went from thinking of him every day to thinking of him maybe once a week.  Then weeks would go by and I didn’t give him a second thought.  Then I realized the secret to a successful breakup is to completely get the person out of your life in every way shape and form.

If you are reminded of the person all of the time, how can you really ever get over them?  How can you really ever move on with your life if part of you is still living in the past?


author avatar
Tracy Tegan
Tracy Tegan has spent the last seventeen years as a professional blogger about relationships, dating, and issues pertaining to gender equality at In her spare time, she writes romance novels that are available at Amazon.  You can check out Tracy Tegan's latest romance novel, Crescent Moon at Amazon.

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The Secret to a Successful Breakup

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