Someone emailed me this today and I thought it was rather funny. These are the things men wished women knew about men. Keep in mind this is just a joke. If you want to read something on a more serious note, check out our post about 25 things about life I wished I’d known 10 years ago. For now, though, enjoy this joke.
- If I want to have relations with you, I find you attractive. Stop asking me if I dislike your behind, your hair, your stomach, or whatever.
- Don’t clean up my messy office as a favor, because you’re essentially hiding everything I need.
- Yes, I watch adult movies. All men do. It’s not the end of the world.
- Me looking at other women does not mean I am not attracted to you. It means I am male.
- If you have to ask, you’re probably not hotter than that chick. No, you’re not the most attractive woman in the world. Deal with it.
- If you weren’t skinny when we started dating, chances are that I actually like the fact that you’re not skinny.
- It’s not my fault that you have PMS. If you get mad at me because of it, I will think you are batshit insane.
- When I’m having sex with you, sometimes I fantasize about other women. I could be having sex with other women while fantasizing about you, instead. Take your pick.
- Your co-worker’s sister’s friend’s love life doesn’t interest me in the slightest. If you talk about it for over 10 seconds, I will not listen. If I pretend to listen while actually thinking about busty Swedish maidens bringing me a beer, be happy – it’s the closest thing to me listening to you that you’re going to get.
- Thinking of busty Swedish maidens bringing me beer makes me happy.
- My private parts are twice as large as those of any guy you’ve ever had sex with. I know it’s not true, and I don’t care. Lie to me.
- Any movie that contains both explosions and people dying in spectacular new ways is worth watching.
- Yes, I just looked at her chest. I had no other choice – they were there, and I have eyes.
- Sarah Jessica Parker is not a fashion icon. She’s the Wicked Witch of the West. Try and look like her, and I will leave you.
