What is a man list and do you need one?

If you’ve ever watched the show Millionaire Matchmaker you’re probably familiar with the concept of a man list.

Basically a man list is a list of every quality you are looking for in a man. How tall is he? Can he cook? What kind of music does he like? Does he want kids? The idea is, you have to know what you want to have a chance to get it. Sounds great, right?

But the problem is, the man list is a list of what you want, not what you need. It gets you to focus your attention on superficial things like the color of a guy’s hair or how tall he is. Sure it’s fun to sit around with your girlfriends, have a few drinks and dream up the perfect guy, but when it comes right down to it, using a man list can actually work against you.

I’ve always said that instead of focusing on the things you want, instead focus on the things you absolutely won’t compromise on — I call it the NO list.

I for example don’t want a man who is 5 years younger than me or 5 years older. For me, that’s my hard line for age differences.

I don’t want a man who doesn’t live in my same city. I absolutely do not believe in long distance relationships. For some people that might not be a deal breaker, but for me it is.

Your man list needs to consist not on things you want, but on things you absolutely won’t compromise on. Do you want kids? Is it a deal breaker if he doesn’t? Add it to your list.

Think carefully about what you really NEED in a man, not what you dream him to be like.  Doing this you’ll find far more success than with some superficial checklist.

I assure you there is no perfect man out there. But if you are realistic about things you absolutely won’t deal with or don’t want in your life, you are far more likely to find a man that is perfect for you.