When you are first getting into a relationship, some people can find themselves tongue-tied and unable to come up with something to say.
So when you have one of those awkward moments of silence, what can you do?
If you want to get someone to talk, ask open-ended questions.
An open-ended question is designed to encourage a full, meaningful answer using the subject’s own knowledge and/or feelings. It is the opposite of a closed-ended question, which encourages a short or single-word answer.
If you ask a question and get a short answer, ask “why” or “how” to get them to continue talking. It will also show him that you are interested in what he is telling you. The more you seem interested in getting to know him, the more he’ll want to open up with you and share more about himself.
Here are some examples of open-ended questions:
- What is your favorite memory from childhood?
- What was your high school experience like?
- How did you and your best friend meet?
- Is there any place you haven’t visited yet that you would like to?
- Why do you prefer the iPhone over Samsung? (or reverse)
When he talks, actually listen to what he’s saying. Sometimes someone can’t speak because you won’t shut up.
When you finally get him to talk, don’t try and one up him. If he tells you something that happened to him, don’t stop him to tell him about how something similar happened to you too. Instead listen, I mean really listen to his entire story. Don’t try and bring the conversation back to you.
When all else fails, fall back on good manners and pull out a compliment. Find something you like about your date — what they are wearing, their lifestyle, their eyes, their job or maybe even some part of his personality and let them know.
Compliments are a great way to break the ice and once that’s done that can easily lead into other areas of conversation.
If you compliment his shoes, maybe that can lead to a conversation about where he got them and that could then lead to a talk about the store in question or even his favorite sports team.
