A woman named Julia posted her story today on Twitter about her horrific experience with being on Tinder. It’s absolutely heartbreaking so I wanted to share it with you all today.
i rejected a man today, who found me off tinder but we did not match. this is how the conversation ended after i said 6 times i was not interested.
Long story short, Julia joined Tinder and didn’t like someone, so she asked him to stop messaging her multiple times. This man, however, wasn’t having it.
His response? No. He doesn’t accept irrational things. She’s on a dating site, so she apparently owes him a date.
The guy was over the top and just can’t seem to understand that NO MEANS NO!
This is the type of thing that happens all the time. Last week Girl Scouts of America released a report that found that 1 in 10 girls are catcalled before their 11th birthday.
Many men think catcalling is a compliment, but in reality, it’s just the opposite. It’s alienating and embarrassing. It’s dehumanizing, and it’s about control.
Catcalls are directives — Turn around! Come talk to me! Let me see that smile!— which assumes at their most basic level of ownership of the woman being catcalled. These aren’t innocuous or playful requests; they are symptoms of entitlement and messages that women don’t deserve control over their own bodies.
It’s invasive and scary. It’s street harassment.
Men don’t seem to understand that a woman can’t walk down the street on her own or even go to a bar and order a drink. If we don’t like a guy, we can’t dare and tell the truth. If we do, we know what might come.
Yes, means yes. No means no. Saying no isn’t an invitation for a debate. It’s the end of the discussion. No does not mean convince me.
Consent is conditional and can be withdrawn at any time. A person can change their mind. A girl can initially agree to something and then later decide she doesn’t want it.
If a person is drunk or asleep, they can’t consent.
If a person does not say yes, then they did not consent. Again if a person is drunk or asleep, they can’t say yes, so therefore they can’t consent.
If a person doesn’t consent, you just committed a crime.
To say yes is to agree. To say no is to disagree.
Yes, means yes. No, means no. There is never an exception to this rule.