Why would a guy breakup with you and still keep you around?

Why would a guy break up with you and still keep you around?

It’s impossible to ever truly understand what’s going through someone’s head, and men can seem to be especially hard to read at times. That being said, there are times when we must take a step back and evaluate what their intentions may be when they don’t have the courage to be honest, either with you or with themselves. Even though it may not always seem to be so, going through a breakup is always hard for both parties involved. We just process and cope with those feelings in different ways from person to person.

If you are in a situation where you’ve been broken up with, but your ex seems to want to keep you around. Unfortunately, you are not alone. It’s truly a tale as old as time, and it happens during more breakups than not, from my experience. This can be happening for so many different reasons, and it is hard to generalize it all under one feeling or thought. But, at the end of the day, your priority should be to evaluate how this arrangement will affect you long-term and if that’s something that you are comfortable with putting yourself through.


The simplest and most common reason for this is familiarity. We find a great sense of comfort in the things that are familiar to us. When you are in a relationship, your partner becomes a huge part of your routine and daily life. It feels as if everything changes after a breakup, and it can be an overwhelming experience. Putting ourselves out there is a hard thing to do, and it is so much easier to just seek out solace in what we know.

You are both putting yourself at risk of just delaying the breakup and being able to work through it.

A more difficult explanation to swallow would be that they are essentially using you. They may not even realize that this is the case, but regardless of the intention, they are still hurting you and themselves. They could be trying to seek out relationships with other people, and yet they are looking to you as a safety net if they change their mind or are unable to find companionship elsewhere. You must remind yourself of your worth and that you are not a backup plan or a second choice.

Most of us don’t want to accept that we are making this easy for them to do to us. You are making yourself available for them to cause this suffering in your life. When going through a breakup, it is so important to take a step back to not only process your emotions but focus on yourself. You will not be able to do that without taking at least a period of time where there is no contact with your ex-boyfriend. Nevertheless, the best advice I have would be to stop letting yourself be available to the person who has already hurt you.

We can never fully understand what’s going through someone’s head. These explanations could not even be the answer to what they are feeling. But at the end of the day, the outcome is the same, and that is an inevitable heartbreak. As someone who has been through heartbreaks of my own, the best medicine is self-love and respect. Take a step back to focus on yourself and protect your heart from being hurt any more than it already has.

Navigating the complexities of a breakup can be an emotionally draining experience, particularly when an ex-partner appears to want to keep you in their life without clear intentions. It’s crucial to recognize that while their motives may vary—from seeking familiarity to inadvertently using you as an emotional safety net—the impact on you remains significant.

Taking a step back to evaluate how these dynamics affect your well-being is essential. Prioritizing self-respect and setting boundaries can provide the space needed to heal and move forward. Remember, your worth is not defined by someone else’s uncertainty or indecision. Embrace the opportunity to focus on yourself, nurture your emotional health, and protect your heart from further hurt. Self-love and self-respect are the most powerful tools in your journey toward recovery and personal growth.

author avatar
Tracy Tegan
Tracy Tegan has spent the last seventeen years as a professional blogger about relationships, dating, and issues pertaining to gender equality at girl.pw. In her spare time, she writes romance novels that are available at Amazon.  You can check out Tracy Tegan's latest romance novel, Crescent Moon at Amazon.

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Why would a guy breakup with you and still keep you around?

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